recognizing patterns – what do i want now?

i’m sitting at my desk at work, going through my OS. it occurred to me that i continually go through “waves” of refreshing my computers with a clean start … to building my options with tools and interesting applications … and trying out new file management methods … until, eventually, i have an annoyingly cluttered mess, and i need to refresh again.

looks just like what happens in my room.

i imagine that it possibly happened in some of my past relationships too. (ponder ponder)

so, my thought branched to something i consciously decided several years ago when considering my personal state and what i wanted in life. i determined that i lacked one thing i needed more than anything else, confidence. my personality was “nice” but lame without confidence, and that disabled my interactions with others. i wanted to be recognized with more respect, to have the attitude that could get me whatever else i wanted. ……. fast forward, and i have it, and it’s good for me even if i may occasionally come across as an asshole.

then, now what? … what’s the next step that i choose and begin to build? i looked through my files again and my cluttered room and my hobbies and my many unpolished skills, and i instantly knew i needed focus. i know a little about alot, and i’m all for that, but i’m deciding to shift now towards fewer, more concentrated paths. what are these going to be? i have an idea, and i’m watching with all of this in mind. this will be the end of this cycle of the wave. clean out and refresh.

::EDIT::
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quick update

did burning man. still uploading pics. maybe i’ll tell some stories. ; )

socket has been making me sack lunches for work so i don’t spend all my monies. tastyzilla.

just registered for a four credit harvard programming class for the fall symester. woo-scury!

looking forward to bryan’s visit in oct. i would look forward to seeing pete too, but he’s a pygmy baby hippo that doesn’t know how to type kayak.com to find tickets.

so, i went to francebelgiumgermanydenmarksweden and back

i may write some stories. putting pics up soonish.

i’m happy to be back with mi amiga.

oh, and firefly was teh r0×0rs. prepping for burning man already.

just booked a ticket to paris

between firefly and burning man, i’m heading somewhere up in northeastern europe with mischa, probably lithuania. i’m going over my vacation time. guess that means i just don’t get paid for the extra time. whatev. suck it!

getting a beer at Seattle airp…

getting a beer at Seattle airport. “Wow, you look alot younger than that.” thanks for the genes, mom and dad.